More Graceful than a Pregnant Giraffe

It’s the little things in life. Like realizing today that I am more graceful than a pregnant giraffe. You’d be surprised how much joy this thought brought me today.

A little context might be in order here?

OK, so there’s this giraffe named April at a zoo in New York. April is pregnant, and the zoo decided to install a webcam so that the entire world can watch her give birth. And thousands of people tune in every day! As I type this, there are over 171,000 people watching, including me. Who would have thought that staring at a giraffe’s butt would draw in so many people. Some of us obviously need to get a social life. But that’s another story.

So April has been the most watched giraffe in the world for a month now. When they initially set up the webcam, they assured us that she was just about to pop. Evidently no one told her that. A week came and went, then 2 weeks. Last weekend the zookeepers assured us that there was no way she was going to make it through the weekend without giving birth.

Can giraffes laugh? I don’t think so, at least not audibly. But if she could laugh, she would be. Whether you are an obstetrician or a veterinarian, never predict when your patient will give birth. You will always be wrong.

Anyway, getting back to April. She’s about 15 months pregnant. Literally. Those of you who have been pregnant and carried a child to term know that near the end, we all feel like we are 15 months pregnant. But this poor thing is actually 15 months pregnant. I’m sure if you asked her, she’d tell you that she feels at least 23 months pregnant. And when she lays down at night, she looks it too.

If you’ve never seen a giraffe lay down, you might want to google it. It’s not a pretty sight. It always looks awkward. They take their sweet time, slowly folding their gangly legs and gingerly lowering their enormous bulk to the ground. And then, when they get pretty close to being all the way down - PLUNK. They seem to give up on the effort to be careful and just drop, hoping for the best. Each time you see this, you get the sense that they just missed doing some serious damage to themselves.

Now, take that already difficult maneuver and add a huge pregnant belly, full of 150 pounds of baby giraffe. You end up with a sight that is equal parts hilarious and pitiful. I’m telling you, the neighbors up the street must be able to feel it when she finally hits the ground. The first time I saw it, I watched in horror, waiting for the zoo staff and vet to rush in to see what the damage was. But it turns out, this is normal. I know this because I’ve become totally addicted to watching this each night. She’s a very predictable creature, that April. Right around 9 or 9:30 each night, she decides it’s time for bed. So each night, just as I’m starting to think about heading up to my bed, I tune in for a few minutes to watch the spectacle.

Why?

So many reasons. I’m still in awe that this incredibly violent-looking event can be a normal, healthy thing. I’ve invested a lot of time trying to witness the miracle of birth, and I don’t want to miss it. And, most importantly, it makes me realize that I am more graceful than a pregnant giraffe. I’ve never been the athletic type, and the years are stacking up, as they are inclined to do. Every morning when I get out of bed, I feel like a moldy oldy, forcing my body to face the fact that being more or less upright is, in fact, a requirement. I swear, the stairs get longer and taller each year, don’t they? But thanks to April, I can now collapse into bed at night feeling like I’m not doing all that bad. I may not be as graceful as a ballerina, but at least I’m more graceful than a pregnant giraffe. That may not seem like much, but hey, take the wins where you can get them.

© Kimberlee Martin, 2017. All rights reserved.

Photo Credit: CC Image "Giraffe" courtesy of Jason Wharam on Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)